Sorry for the posting delay. Monday was quite a strange day for me. My description of the day is only to tell you how some events affected me and hopefully, what happened to me won’t happen to anyone else. I won’t be using names of the people involved because my goal isn’t to bring attention to the people and places, but to their affect on me. I don’t know any of the people involved, but pray for them daily. So, here is the timeline.
1. Found out before lunch on Monday(through his blog) that a pastor I follow(twitter, blog, etc.) had resigned his church because of an affair with someone he works with.
2. This weighed heavily on me throughout the day as my wife, Drake, and I ran errands in preparation of the summer.
3. Monday night, my goal was to get in bed by 8 pm as I was wore slap out. However, at 8, I got on the internet to search for more information on the pastor’s situation.
4. This search led me to a blog whose soul purpose is to rebuke and ridicule certain churches in the south(BIG churches) and their pastors. I love and respect all these churches. The blog made me think,”who has time to critique every word these pastor’s preach, blog, facebook, and twitter?” The blog was mean spirited without being venomous(if that makes any sense), and to my knowledge, the author was not anonymous. By this time, it was 8:30 pm.
5. This search led to more blogs and more criticisms of these leaders I respect. It was disheartening. Not that I lost trust in these people, but that people took the time to tear them down. It was like a wild goose chase.
6. Found a blog from a young lady which she began as therapy for abuse she received from a pastor. Through her blog, she wrote a letter addressed to him which told the story of the inappropriate comments he had made. When the story about the pastor mentioned in #1 broke, she came out and said he had been the one who had made the comments which were sexual in nature. It was great how her blog showed her progression and how the Lord had helped her. I know personally 3 pastors who have committed(or been accused of) sexual crimes. A third committed adultery and left his wife and kids. This came after multiple instances of abuse on his part at previous ministry stops. Some were known and some were not. In every single one of these cases, there were “red flags” that people saw, but didn’t report. Even in the instances where it was reported or confronted, little was done on the part of the individual to address the behavior and more victims were claimed. I personally helped a friend confront one of these pastors, and while he confessed some misdeeds to his family, his behavior did not change and it ruined his ministry and tore his family apart. At this point, it was 9:45 and I wondered why we are quick to note “red flags” after it’s too late, but not when it would actually help anyone. God help us all.
7. All of this led me to a 9 minute video in a sermon of a pastor bashing one of the above churches for it’s ministry and worship practices. While trying to find out more about this pastor, I found out he had recently been in the news for being tasered and beaten at a border checkpoint(which wasn’t anywhere near a border). I watched a few of the news reports and checked his church website.
At this point, it is 10:17 pm. My wife had asked when I was coming to bed, and my intention was to have already been in there. I realized I had just wasted 2 hours of my life. While I gained lots of information, I don’t feel it was helpful or uplifting to me. It was depressing information of churches and pastor’s tearing others down and lives and ministry’s destroyed. While reading about all of this, I neglected my marriage. Rather ironic, that while reading up on these subjects in the hopes of protecting my marriage I actually hurt it. I made a commitment to my wife that I would go to bed whenever she did from now on. I will stop reading, stop net surfing, turn the tv off, and do whatever it takes so she doesn’t fall asleep alone anymore. I’m also going to put my phone on vibrate when I get home and only return/reply to calls and txts that need immediate attention. I must do whatever necessary to mentally and emotionally engage with my family rather than being so distracted all the time. My time with them is precious especailly considering that we will be apart for the next few weeks while I attend youth camps and Karen and the kids visit family. We must all reexamine our lives. We must all recognize and address what distracts us from those who should be most important to us. God bless you all. God be with all those hurt in these various situations. God help his church reflect and build his kingdom.
Let’s just beg God that we NEVER EVER go down that road and understand that ONLY by God’s grace it won’t be us! As for the pastors and other people that blog and tear down other pastors I believe they have a rude awakening coming when they stand before a HOLY God and try to explain their intentions for doing so!
Amen my friend.
It is heartbreaking to hear of or even to see examples of where people have gone astray or never even lived the live’s that God has called them to live. Us pastors are called to be more accountable and for those who have been pastors and still lived live’s filled with sin God will have His righteous judgment set aside for them.
I agree with the general feeling that you expressed in your blog. To me, it is not so heartbreaking to see Pastors fall into sin (although it is still heartbreaking, I try to remember that we are still human and that God will judge them so I should just try to lift them up in prayer, there is nothing else I can do). The most heartbreaking part is to watch people (oftentimes Christians) descend like packs of ravenous wolves to devour and ridicule them. It hurts to see my people (Christians) sink so low and enjoy hurting others. Christians should be reaching out to embrace, encourage, and love those that have made mistakes, even if it does make us all look bad. Just my 2 cents. Thanks for the great blog Heath.
A few things:
– I’m with you on the red flags. We say someone is prideful or arrogant or flirty while they are in leadership, but we have the tendency to “cover” them while turning a blind eye. When are we going to lovingly protect someone by going to them with the red flags we see in each other’s lives.
– Katie also made the committment to me that I’ll go to bed at the same time as her. It’s tough for me because I don’t naturally fall asleep at the same time. But I think it’s good. So i’ll read or lay there for 3 hours thinking about other things. But at least we’re together.
– Read “Ordering your Private World.” Forget that it too is by a pastor who has fallen. The principles are great.
God’s best on your resolution.