First a review:
1. Carowinds was great. The rides made me feel very unsafe. Now, that’s either because the rides are actually unsafe or that they did a good job of creating that illusion. Either way, all of the rides were adrenaline pumpers. Also, it was SC Baptist Youth Day at Carowinds with Mercy Me. It’s called the Big Thing. Well, I went to the first one with NewSong at the Carolina Coliseum back in the 80’s. Anybody else remember the 4 guy NewSong that sang with tracks?
2. Tim, Rico, and Travis visited last weekend. Great to see those guys. Wish we could’ve worked out a viewing of Clone Wars. Anybody seen it yet.
3. Sadly, I didn’t watch the first few nights of the Olympics and missed Michael Phelps first few races including the amazing comeback relay. I did catch up and saw the rest though. The Olympics always have controversy(age of Chinese gymnasts, steroids in 1988, US track team acting like thugs(2004)), a shining star(Phelps, Mary Lou Retton, Kerri Shrug, Marion Jones(oops), Dream Team), and disappointed athletes(Tyson Gay, Paul Hamm, Roy Jones, Jr.). My only complaint is that the Olympics has too many events and most of the time America seems to add events that favor them(beach volleyball, BMX?). Anything I can do in my backyard(badmitton) should not be an Olympic sport.
Now onto some other stuff…
As a Youth Pastor for 11 years I have seen many teen relationships come and go. The other night I was thinking about some of the ones I have seen so I hope this is helpful to some of my collegues.
1. The Serial Dater-this is the person in your youth group who has dated or has tried to date everyone of the opposite sex in your youth group. Beware of them, talk to them, and do not tolerate this. At one point, half of my guys first kiss had been with the same girl. That’s not good for: their health, her reputation, their friendships, or the rest of the group.
2. The Visitor-this is the girl/boyfriend who doesn’t go to another church but comes to church with their new squeeze who is in your youth group. Most of the time, they have a weak(if any) relationship with Christ and are coming simply to be with their girl/boyfriend. The danger in this is that this person is history as soon as they break up and that can often leave a poor impression on someone who needs Jesus. There have been cases where the person is a Christian but their church doesn’t have a good youth group and they do join your group for the long haul even after the breakup. Know this, sooner or later, every couple is gonna break up(except in very rare cases) and you’ve got to somehow minister to the kid who has been in your group for years and also to the one that you’ve only known a short time. Yes, it’s tricky.
3. The Rookie-this is the kid who is getting into their first serious relationship(to the teen, they’re all serious) in their sophmore year or later and doesn’t know how to handle certain things. There’s also the danger that this kid who has never had a boy/girlfriend is gonna soon be a PDA Champion. How do you help them sort through these new emotions while maintaining their purity and reputation?
Finally, there are all sorts of theories and feelings about teen dating. Can it be dangerous? Yes. Should it be avoided at all costs? No. I think our problem is we submit ourselves to the world’s standards and categories when it comes to relationships. We feel like we have to go steady and make it official for some odd reason. Kids should get to know as many members of the opposite sex they can as friends. Friendship should never be “exclusive.” Group outings should be encouraged and one on one dates should be limited. Teens have enough pressure as it is. One view I had that has changed is my view on kissing. I think I used to put pressure on kids who had never kissed anyone and I’m sorry for that. I think I put forth the idea that it was something that needed to be done sooner rather than later. Now, I take the angle that we only get so many kisses and it’s not a bad thing to save em for the right person. Also, teens should know that with every flirt, hand hold, kiss, hug, or whatever they give a piece of themselves and their heart to that person. They should know the costs and be enouraged to ask themselves, “Is it worth it?”
thanks Heath