When you start reading a book called “Sex God” you can’t be completely sure of what you’re going to find. I find Rob Bell’s work and message to be fascinating, always challenging me, and I can see his influence on my preaching and writing. So, this book wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. It was a whole lot more. It blew me away. So, go buy it. Read it and let it sink in. However, plugging Rob Bell is not the purpose of this post. I want to give God a plug. You see, today I was working on various things in the office: Children’s church schedule, youth message schedules, etc. I knew I was almost finished with the book so when my ADD kicked in I picked it up. Now, the past few days had been difficult for us. Won’t go into details, but I feel like I’m on the end of a diving board and not sure where the pool is. So, I finish the book and get to the Epilogue(by the way, does anyone really know how to pronounce that word?) and God brings me to tears. Bell tells the story of a wedding he conducted in a park. A simple ceremony where at the end he gave the bride and groom each a cluster of helium balloons on strings. They were instructed to go into a clearing in the park and release these balloons which represented their pasts and mistakes. It was to symbolize a new start for them. What a moment to envision. He goes on to say
A few years later their marriage imploded. She moved an hour away. He relocated to another part of the country. They divorced.
I finish with this story because life is messy. Gut wrenching. Risky. Things don’t always turn out well. Sometimes they don’t turn out at all. Sometimes everything falls apart and we wonder if there’s any point to any of it. We’re tempted to shut ourselves off, fortify the walls around our hearts, and forge ahead, promising ourselves that we will never open ourselves up like that again.
But I have to believe that we can recover from anything. I have to believe that God can put anything-anyone-back together. I have to believe that the God Jesus invites us to trust is as good as he says he is.
Loving.
Forgiving.
Merciful.
Full of grace.
And I have to believe that God does not run out of balloons.
I needed to hear that. I have spent a lot of time analyzing the past and trying to figure out what mistakes I made, if they could’ve been avoided, and how to recover and fix them. Mistakes in finances, relationships, parenting, work, etc. It’s like the old saying, ” I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.” It’s still hard to let go. To not beat myself up. To envision a brighter day ahead. To get my mojo back. Sometimes we can’t grasp God because we won’t let go of the past. So, I don’t know about you, but as for me…pass the balloons. It’s a new day.