Me and Matt

It’s funny how things change. Matt Rhodes and I first spent time together on a Missions’ Trip to Toronto. It was 1997 and I had been a youth pastor for two weeks when we left South Carolina on July 15th. It was on this trip that my friendship with Matt’s youth pastor, Gary Rich, went to a deeper level. Matt, Gary, and I also went on trip’s together in 1998 and 1999 to South Dakota and Washington, DC. I don’t remember Matt and I ever having a blow up with each other, but we weren’t buddy-buddy either. I’m pretty sure I did my best to keep my distance. We were at different points in our Christian leadership development and sometimes they were like oil and water. We really did not have very much in common. I saw Matt live through Gary’s departure and two youth pastor’s after that. I think when Gary left it gave us a common bond because it was hard on both of us. He had been our mentor and there was this huge vacuum left in our lives. Then Pentecost Thursday happened. It was camp 2001 and Matt was getting ready to start college at Southern Wesleyan. That night something changed in all of us. Matt reached out to those he had been at odds with. He showed a lot of grace and humbleness and really took the high road in some of his relationships. He earned much respect from me that night. There had always been an edge to Matt, but after that night, it was gone. Matt was soon serving at a local church and became part of the district youth cabinet. He had good insight because of his involvement as a teen in district events. He became a counselor at camp and was given a greater leadership role as the years passed. Matt eventually made the decision to not go to school full-time, but to seek a ministry position. I was honored that he even asked my opinion on the matter. He became the youth pastor at Easley First Wesleyan and we began to work even more closely together as well as being part of an LDJ group together. As all of this is happening, I had gotten married and we had the twins. Many youth pastors had come and gone through the district and several others had taken a step back. Matt came at the right time to fill part of that void in the district along with some other young leaders. Somehow, Matt was becoming my right hand man just like I had been to Gary. It made sense since we lived close together. Then Deborah came along. She had just finished SWU, got a job on campus, and was helping at camp. They had known each other at school so there was a friendship between them. Crazy things happen at camp though. Even without my 1 inch think glasses I could see the chemistry between them. Matt wasn’t available and I reminded him that as a youth pastor, the relationship rules are a little different. Cheating was out and so was the quick breakup-start dating someone else routine. I can’t remember, but I hope I was a good enough friend to tell him(and Deborah) that they would be crazy not to try to work something out. Then Matt got dumped(my words not his) which gave him the all clear(Youth Pastor dating Manual: page 29-section 2: paragraph b). He and Deb had “the talk” and that was it. They grew in ministry and maturity together and my daughters and I were in their wedding just over a year ago. Our friendship grew as we shared good times(Drake’s birth) and bad times together. We worked closely on camps and conventions and were preparing for both when Karen and I decided to leave South Carolina. This was a concept foreign to all of us. That was a rough day. I told Karen what was going on and then I called Matt. The time had come to pass the torch. The summer months were spent looking back, venting, laughing, experiencing two great camps, job hunting, and packing up a house. We moved to Delaware/Pennsylvania after tearful goodbyes. Then a funny thing happened. Matt and Deborah left South Carolina too. At the end of August, he got offered a position in the Spiritual Formation Department at Wesleyan Headquarters. Just like I told him he’d be a fool to let Deb get away, I told him this job was one of those once-in-a-lifetime deals. So, Matt’s calling me about rental trucks and boxes. Now, Matt has a job that fits him great doing what he has been called to do. Now, I call him to find out what’s going on. Now, HE is the Grapevine. Now, we are brought together by our love for Christ, wives and family, church, and the fact that we are not living near our mommas anymore. That’s hard for two mommas’ boys like us. We’re further apart and yet we’re closer then we’ve ever been. Now, HE’s calling ME to set up a denominational missions trip in the Philly area. He’s hoping to come and be a part of the work that week in July almost 11 years to the day since we left on that trip to Toronto. Some things never change.