Over the years, I have had the privilege of mentoring and being mentored by many great people in ministry. 10 years of ministry on a college campus kept a steady flow of ministry students involved in our church’s youth ministry. I’ve enjoyed many lunches with some great men and women and watched lots of them be used in amazing ways by God. Mentoring is all about investing your time, energy, and knowledge into someone else. I believe we all need to have a mentor and be mentoring at least one person at every phase in life. You need someone who is more experienced than you pouring into your life while you do the same for someone else.
Mentoring is often difficult. While most appreciate the time others don’t seem to heed any advice that is given. Others fail to even show up and make an effort to be a part of the process that they requested. Here’s my question: at one point do you start investing your time elsewhere and in someone else who will benefit more from the mentoring relationship? Is there a point where, as a mentor, you can say,”This dude doesn’t get it” and gracefully move onto something else? I’m not talking about doing this out of the blue, but after several “warnings” and admonishments about their behavior, attitude, etc. If it’s someone you’ve been promoting for a position then can you say,”hey, I’m not comfortable giving people your name and resume anymore because of the lack of maturity and character I have seen in you.” At some point, it will fall back on you if you’ve given your blessing and recommendation to someone who is not demonstrating the gifts, calling, and character of someone in ministry.
I’m talking mainly about college age students/graduates. Obviously, with younger students and pre-teens, mentoring is a bit different, but just as vital. Author Don Miller started The Mentoring Project several years ago to deal with the crisis of children growing up fatherless in our country. They are a great organization with some cool resources and a mission that we all can believe in.
I would love to know what you think and hear your mentoring stories. Grace and Peace.
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Finding a Mentor, Being a Mentor: Sharing Our Lives as Women of God
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Mentoring: How to Find a Mentor and How to Become One
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Mentor Like Jesus
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51 Creative Ideas for Marriage Mentors: Connecting Couples to Build Better Marriages
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Augustine As Mentor: A Model for Preparing Spiritual Leaders
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The Mentor Leader
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The Making of a Mentor: Nine Essential Characteristics of Influential Christian Leaders
Jesus ministered to many but focused on a few. He knew that by concentrating on this faithful few he would leave behind a legacy of people whose influence would continue to multiply until he returned. This book is written to stimulate you toward the same passionate desire to change people who will then change other people who will then change even more people. It will show you how to live and speak truth into the lives of others in a way that will transform them forever. Seize this opportunity to learn what our Master has to teach us about mentoring! |
I know that in the mentoring relationships I was/am involved in depended a lot on the “wantability” of the “mentoree”. Were (are) they really hungry for what they say they are? I’ve found that those who are not, simply phase themselves out of that relationship. My attempts at a reconnection is usually fruitless until a person is hungry for change. Also, I may not be the right mentor for somebody and God moves them along to the right person, or I may suggest someone else. You are correct about the frustration level though, that I try to keep giving to the Father and asking for more grace to give.
Great thoughts bro’, thanks for sharing!
Peace,
Jay