When summer started, Karen and I decided to have our internet, phone, and TV turned off since we would be spending much of the summer away from home. It seemed to be the practical thing to do. I haven’t watched TV all summer. I’ve seen bits of pieces of shows when I’ve been at other people’s homes, but nothing like,”it’s 9 pm Monday night I’ve got to watch RAW.” For our Super Bowl party at church I had gotten a digital converter box and expensive antennae. I figured I would just hook this up at home. No luck. It says I get 14 channels, but none of them shows for more than 5 seconds before I get blocks of color. It shows that my antennae strength is only 38% and this is with Wal-Mart’s most expensive don’t have to climb on your roof antennae. So, we’ve been watching lots of movies and sometimes we just shut the thing off and play. I’ve spoken with dozens of people, including my grandparents, who are less than pleased with the digital TV revolution. This was a government mandated thing. Billions were spent to print the rebate cards(many of which are still sitting in a warehouse somewhere) and actually pay for the rebates. I got my $50 box for $10 using my $40 off coupon and I want a refund! To say this whole operation has been a mess from the beginning(they changed the date more than George and Susan) would be an understatement. Spoiler Warning-dig at big government coming! Now these same people want to run our health care system. To say that I am less than enthused would be an understatement. Ever mailed a letter that didn’t make it? Ever waited 6 hours to get your driver’s license? More often than not, when government seeks to solve a problem it involves committees and paid bureaucrats who create confusing systems that almost never result in solving the problem. Time to switch gears: how often have we done the same in our churches? We see a problem and form a committee to study it and table the issue until the next meeting. That means that the problem won’t be solved at least for another month! Most of the time the committee reports and then questions are answered that they don’t have the answers to. See you next month! We laugh about putting anyone who missed the meeting on whatever committee happens to be formed that month. When the government and the church try to do too many things, things they aren’t called to do, or things they’re not good at then everyone suffers. As far as TV goes, I’ll be fine until football season…then I’ll start wearing out my welcome at various people’s home who have TV’s that actually pick up the NFL. Hey, don’t blame me, it’s the government’s fault. At least that’s what the Mullikin committee said.
Great Wedding Video
So, what have I been doing?
I think this summer stands as one of the most significant in my life. So many amazing things have happened with me and my family that I feel like I’m about to bust to get it all out. It has been really special. God has even used the worst moments to bear great fruit and that’s kinda why He’s God. I know you’re sitting there like Costanza saying, “Jerry, I need details!” Here’s what I can tell you.
1. Our gong show skit “High School Camp Musical” got gonged. I got my days mixed up so we lost a day of practice. Is it just me or has the gong show gotten too high tech? Anyway, it was a great gong show.
2. Tried to preach completely without notes for the first time at the East Michigan Family Camp. It was a remarkable week. I met so many great young people who shared their amazing stories with me. Met two great college ministry teams from SWU and BBC. Got to hang out with Matt and Emily Miller who are starting an amazing adventure of their own. I can’t wait to hear how God moves in their lives and the people who are changed because of their faithfulness. Steve DeNeff spoke the first 3 nights and well, he’s Steve Deneff. Enuff said. Saw some incredible chalk drawings and the worship leader, Mark from Cypress Wesleyan in Ohio, was awesome. Great times of worship. I loved meeting in the tent with the youth. No lights or special effects-just 3 acoustic guitars and the presence of God. It was really cool.
3. As many of you know, I got to do some stand up comedy in Michigan. I had a blast and I’m pretty sure at least of my lines was funny. Been writing a lot more material. I wanna have about 1 hour 15 minutes worth of good stuff for the fall.
4. Can I just say that the Transformers have sadly transformed from kid friendly to gratuitous smut? Spoiler Alert! If I want to see dogs humping then I will go to…wait a minute-I DON’T WANT TO SEE DOGS HUMPING!
5. The ordination service at District Conference was very moving(full story sometime down the road). Only in America could a couple from Cuba, a country boy from Chesnee, a farmer’s son from Indiana, a Mountaineer from WV, and a man from a town called Silk Hope get ordained in the same place on the same night. newhope’s facility is awesome. Didn’t get to try the coffee.
6. In the same day, I got refused entry to the NC House Chamber, saw the Governor, went into the ladies’ bathroom at the Mudcats game, and then got reprimanded once I was allowed into the House Chamber for putting the agenda on the ledge.
7. Spent a day at the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, AL which is the home of space camp. If anyone wants to give me the $1000 scholarship to do the week long adult space camp then I am ready and willing to go. We’ll be back there next summer to see Karen’s family in Grant, AL and the Star Wars exhibit. I am saving my NASA ice cream sandwich for a special occasion. Hopefully, Smitty won’t nab it from me.
8. I may have missed the 4 weeks of news coverage for Michael Jackson, but I didn’t miss it.
9. More to come. Thanks for all the Twitter/Facebook status encouragement. I do it for the people. Anybody know how to change whose listed on the following part of my twitter home page, get DM’s and @replies on my phone, and give me your thoughts on the Blackberry Storm?
Summer Update
Here’s the short sweet version:
Middle School Camp
High School Camp
East Michigan Family Camp Youth Track
First Stand up gig
Heading to Alabama to pick up Karen and the kids.
Don’t have time for full reports, but they will come later this week(if my mother in law’s computer is working).
Life is good. I’ve had one soda a week for 3 weeks and no Mt. Dew in 2 weeks. Gotta switch Gatorade and sweet tea for water since it was hindering my weight loss. Thanks for your prayers. Can’t wait to see my family. Drake has officially entered level 4 of the terrible 2’s. Peace to all.
Summer Thoughts
It has now been more than half of my life since I was called into the ministry. At the time, I had no idea where it would take me. More than a third of my life has now been spent in full-time ministry. This past week of camp (my 29th since accepting the call) was a clear reminder that I am doing what God created me for. I feel like the ability to make people laugh is the greatest gift and pleasure which God has given me. Laughter melts even the hardest heart of stone. Laughter brings relief to the afflicted and comfort to the oppressed. Laughter does not bring salvation, but it opens the doors of the hearts of people who would not do so otherwise. I sit here alone in my house as my family is hours away visiting grandparents. I often wonder about how much longer I can hold my current career as youth pastor and be the husband and father I want to be. It grows harder and harder to be away from my wife and children with each passing year. I pray daily and put my trust in the Lord that the price He has called me to pay in ministry will not come at too much of a cost to my family. I feel that I have sacrificed a lot over the years, in the name of Christ, that He never called me to. It was immaturity and eagerness on my part, but it is easy to call any church thing, however unnessecary, an essential part of full-time ministry. I have seen too many friends pay a high price in ministry by giving their time and energy to more than God commanded or called. All of this is different with each couple and family. We are not machines built on an assembly line built to endure and tolerate the same things. We must always be aware of the price we are asking our families’ to pay. There is such a fine line as to what is too high and how much is too much. Add to it the fact that we rarely talk around our kitchen tables and in our bedrooms about these matters and the problem only deepens and remains unresolved. How do you balance the sense that, while at a youth camp, you are doing and being everything God has intended while you are away from your family? How do you reconcile that? How do you repay the days and weeks away? I know that in the 4 weeks I am apart from my family my son’s vocabulary will grow, my daughter’s will learn new things, and my wife will have bared the burden without me. How do I insure to my God, my wife, my children, and myself that the church, the ministry, and camp have not become a mistress in any way, shape, or form? I am replaceable as camp counselor, youth pastor, and camp jester, but not as a husband and father. Maybe it’s coming to that realization that is the key. Knowing that where my heart is there my treasure will be also. I’m not one of those people who dreds youth camp or whatever. Give me a mic and a crowd. Give me a camp game. Give me the chance to come up with something off the top of my head. That’s just how I’m wired. I feed off it. I feel so alive in Christ when given these opportunities. It’s also in those private conversations. Those one on one times with kids who are hurting and looking for answers. No mic needed there, but that’s still who I’m created to be. I have never loved doing what I do and being who I am more than right this minute. I have never loved my wife, children, and family more than I do right now. No lights, no crowd, no music. Just one Father doting on another so he doesn’t feel alone, but alive. It’s a good life.
A Weird Week and the Road Ahead
Sorry for the posting delay. Monday was quite a strange day for me. My description of the day is only to tell you how some events affected me and hopefully, what happened to me won’t happen to anyone else. I won’t be using names of the people involved because my goal isn’t to bring attention to the people and places, but to their affect on me. I don’t know any of the people involved, but pray for them daily. So, here is the timeline.
1. Found out before lunch on Monday(through his blog) that a pastor I follow(twitter, blog, etc.) had resigned his church because of an affair with someone he works with.
2. This weighed heavily on me throughout the day as my wife, Drake, and I ran errands in preparation of the summer.
3. Monday night, my goal was to get in bed by 8 pm as I was wore slap out. However, at 8, I got on the internet to search for more information on the pastor’s situation.
4. This search led me to a blog whose soul purpose is to rebuke and ridicule certain churches in the south(BIG churches) and their pastors. I love and respect all these churches. The blog made me think,”who has time to critique every word these pastor’s preach, blog, facebook, and twitter?” The blog was mean spirited without being venomous(if that makes any sense), and to my knowledge, the author was not anonymous. By this time, it was 8:30 pm.
5. This search led to more blogs and more criticisms of these leaders I respect. It was disheartening. Not that I lost trust in these people, but that people took the time to tear them down. It was like a wild goose chase.
6. Found a blog from a young lady which she began as therapy for abuse she received from a pastor. Through her blog, she wrote a letter addressed to him which told the story of the inappropriate comments he had made. When the story about the pastor mentioned in #1 broke, she came out and said he had been the one who had made the comments which were sexual in nature. It was great how her blog showed her progression and how the Lord had helped her. I know personally 3 pastors who have committed(or been accused of) sexual crimes. A third committed adultery and left his wife and kids. This came after multiple instances of abuse on his part at previous ministry stops. Some were known and some were not. In every single one of these cases, there were “red flags” that people saw, but didn’t report. Even in the instances where it was reported or confronted, little was done on the part of the individual to address the behavior and more victims were claimed. I personally helped a friend confront one of these pastors, and while he confessed some misdeeds to his family, his behavior did not change and it ruined his ministry and tore his family apart. At this point, it was 9:45 and I wondered why we are quick to note “red flags” after it’s too late, but not when it would actually help anyone. God help us all.
7. All of this led me to a 9 minute video in a sermon of a pastor bashing one of the above churches for it’s ministry and worship practices. While trying to find out more about this pastor, I found out he had recently been in the news for being tasered and beaten at a border checkpoint(which wasn’t anywhere near a border). I watched a few of the news reports and checked his church website.
At this point, it is 10:17 pm. My wife had asked when I was coming to bed, and my intention was to have already been in there. I realized I had just wasted 2 hours of my life. While I gained lots of information, I don’t feel it was helpful or uplifting to me. It was depressing information of churches and pastor’s tearing others down and lives and ministry’s destroyed. While reading about all of this, I neglected my marriage. Rather ironic, that while reading up on these subjects in the hopes of protecting my marriage I actually hurt it. I made a commitment to my wife that I would go to bed whenever she did from now on. I will stop reading, stop net surfing, turn the tv off, and do whatever it takes so she doesn’t fall asleep alone anymore. I’m also going to put my phone on vibrate when I get home and only return/reply to calls and txts that need immediate attention. I must do whatever necessary to mentally and emotionally engage with my family rather than being so distracted all the time. My time with them is precious especailly considering that we will be apart for the next few weeks while I attend youth camps and Karen and the kids visit family. We must all reexamine our lives. We must all recognize and address what distracts us from those who should be most important to us. God bless you all. God be with all those hurt in these various situations. God help his church reflect and build his kingdom.