Rating the Cold

For the first time in my life, I have seen it snow three times in one Winter. Drake is pretty fascinated by it. There’s something about living in the North that changes your attitude about snow. I would have never dreamed of driving in this stuff in South Carolina, but here it’s just what you do. Anyway, I was thinking too much today and reflecting on how cold it has been so here we go…
1. Level 1-“Chilly”-this is when you walk outside and it’s a little bit cooler than you thought. You don’t go back in for a jacket, and you’re fine once you reach you’re destination. It’s just “chilly”, like a wife forced to watch pro wrestling.
2. Level 2-“Dang Cold”-this is when you really underestimate the temperature. You need a big coat although it may warm up enough to shed it by mid-afternoon. Cold enough to call a friend and tell them about it if you’re living in a different area than you’re used to.
3. Level 3-“Great Googly Moogly Cold”-inclement weather or not, you know it’s freezing outside. You bundle up and it still hits you in the face when you walk outside. It penetrates your scarf, your gloves, and your soul. Tries to take away your will to live. Car will not get warm enough all day. There is not a room at your home or office where you can be completely warm. You just try to make sure the kids are bundled up, covered up, and snuggled up.
4. Level 4-“Britney Spears Cold”-this occurs once it’s been Level 3 cold for more than 2 days. Makes you crazy. You just can’t get warm yet you want to shave your head cause you just don’t know what to do. You start dialing wrong numbers, gaining weight, and seeing things. You actually put on the thermal underwear you got for Christmas. Too cold for a comeback, too cold to sweat, too cold to finish your blo