Things I Know Right Now

1.  With a less than stellar QB class there’s no way I would draft one in the first round of the NFL draft.  None of these guys really did anything in college, but Tom Brady didn’t either.  Better to try to find a gem in the later rounds and use that first round money on a closer-to-sure thing.

2.  With word of a Karate Kid remake and Jerry Bruckheimer hinting at a Top Gun do over let me say that the Hollywood 80’s remake phase has officially gone too far.  What’s next, a Jefferson’s movie?

3.  Final Crisis was the most confusing comic mini-series I’ve ever read.  I know the good guys won, but Batman died last month only to reemerge in the distant past/other planet this month.  These comic events are supposed to appeal to new readers, but unless you had a DC Encylopedia and all of Grant Morrsion’s previous work then you would be suffering from exploding head syndrome.

4.  It’s not good for children to put anything sticky on TV buttons.

5.  I am completely over my Survivor addiction.  It’s too predictable how contestants react when they realize how unpredictable the game is.  The double crosses don’t anger me, but the people who are shocked into lifelong grudges by double crosses do.

6.  The Oscars are this Sunday and I quit caring a long time ago.  I do hope Heath Ledger wins for his portrayal of the Joker.  I haven’t seen any of the best picture nominees.  The easiest way to get nominated is to be in (1) a period piece, (2) a movie about homosexuals, (3) a movie no one pays to see(Academy voters get bombarded with DVD’s to watch so they never actually have to go see the movies), (4)play a role that requires you to change your appearence, (5) be a previous nominee or (6) all of the above.  There are some awards shows where only a few dozen people vote.  I think fans should have a say in the oscar voting and all of the sports Hall of Fames.

7. Donald Fehr, head of the Baseball Players union, has made the players richer at the game’s expense.  Way to keep steroid testing out of the game for so long, Don!  And thanks for 1994!  Somebody fire this guy.  Want to know why there are/were steroids in baseball?  Because the players union(led by Mr. Fehr) refused to agree to testing.  Now we’ve got 25 years(80-05) where we don’t know what’s what.

8.  What if pastor’s had to submit to cholestoral testing?  My press conference would go something like this:  “I knew we were getting the Pizza’s from Jerry’s, but I was young and naive.  I thought maybe the grease wouldn’t hurt me.  It was a mistake.  I don’t know what was actually on the pizza’s.  I was under a lot of pressure to look cool for the teens in my youth group and nothing says cool like winning all the pizza eating contests.  Again, I was young and naive and now the whole world knows about these youthful indiscretions.”

9.  Did I mention that our dog ran away/disappeared/was dognapped?

10.  Frosted Flakes milk is still the best.